Rindu

Whatsapp aku berbunyi. Ada notifikasi.

"Aku rindu dengan arwah ayah aku." A message from M.

"Aku ingat lagi masa dia sakit. Dia tak mampu dah nak berkata-kata. Terlantar macam tu je. Aku rasa terkilan sebab cuma masa tu baru aku cakap kat dia aku sayang dia. Sebelum ni aku buat tak kisah je. I took it for granted. His existence. Masa ayah aku dah meninggal barulah aku nak peluk dan cium dia. Aku rasa kesal sangat."

"You told him you loved him once. And for a man like your dad, believe me - once is plenty." Aku reply dengan quote daripada buku men from the boys by tony parsons. Sebab aku pun tak tahu nak kata apa.

You never know how it feels. Until you're at their place. Never judge. Just listen.

"I miss him."

"Pada saat kita tiba-tiba rindu akan seseorang. Doakanlah dirinya. Mungkin pada saat itu dia sedang lagi perlukan doa kita."

***

I miss you

But I won't say anything.

I pray for you. For us.

I hope my existence reaches you.

Pada langit malam ku bisikkan namamu.